Fuck tradition
Seriously
Tradition is such a copout reason to do anything
And like half the time people play the tradition card
It's something that they like doing ANYWAY
Or something that reminds them of the people that they share the tradition with
Hey dickmaster
Guess what
Triggering nostalgic memories of your life and/or actually enjoying an activity
Are significantly BETTER reasons to do something than WELL ITS TRADITION
Just because grandpa fucklestein and your dad used the same god damn stickball rules as great grandpa martin van buren fucklestein
And his father before him
Doesn't mean that you have to play stickball by smacking your opponent in the balls
With a stick
Seriously
That was not cool, fucklestein
I don't care if you're nuts about going nuts on my nuts or not man
But like
Don't try to justify your stupid routines by saying theyre tradition
Just man the fuck up
And own your weird ingrained enjoyment of otherwise unjustifiable bullshit
Like a fucking adult
Timefuck: The Movie
What the fuck do you want from me
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Thursday, December 27, 2012
So I watched Another
Spoilers
It sucked
But of course I can't just say it was shit and move on to bigger and better things
No
That wouldn't be anywhere NEAR up to the standards of though provoking well reasoned analysis you have no doubt come to expect from this blog
So allow me
Dear reader
To set the scene
Imagine
For a moment
That you are in a spooky deserted hospital
It's midnight
Or some shit
Whatever
Point is it's fucking dark on whatever the hell basement level floor you are for some reason frequenting
Why are you there
You might ask
Because
Dear reader
You are
An idiot
This idiot specifically
Anyway
You've just entered an empty elevator
The doors close
The lights flicker
And then
You turn around
And there
Standing behind you
Is
It sucked
But of course I can't just say it was shit and move on to bigger and better things
No
That wouldn't be anywhere NEAR up to the standards of though provoking well reasoned analysis you have no doubt come to expect from this blog
So allow me
Dear reader
To set the scene
Imagine
For a moment
That you are in a spooky deserted hospital
It's midnight
Or some shit
Whatever
Point is it's fucking dark on whatever the hell basement level floor you are for some reason frequenting
Why are you there
You might ask
Because
Dear reader
You are
An idiot
This idiot specifically
Anyway
You've just entered an empty elevator
The doors close
The lights flicker
And then
You turn around
And there
Standing behind you
Is
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Unsent email theater
Basically
I just need some fucking information man
Otherwise I gotta fill in the blanks all by myself
And you know how mad libs go
Shit never ends up following the story they had in mind when they wrote it
Like
You never want to actually explain anything to anybody because explaining shit is too much of a hassle for you
Well not assuming shit based my own frame of reference is too much of a hassle for me
People make assumptions because the world is fucking filled with unknowns and leaps of logic and shit that requires immediate response
We have a highly evolved survival mechanism in our brains that is literally based around being able to jump to conclusions
Saying people need to stop assuming is like saying people need to stop being afraid of things they feel threatened by
You don't want people to make assumptions
You gotta fill in
The fucking blanks
I just need some fucking information man
Otherwise I gotta fill in the blanks all by myself
And you know how mad libs go
Shit never ends up following the story they had in mind when they wrote it
Like
You never want to actually explain anything to anybody because explaining shit is too much of a hassle for you
Well not assuming shit based my own frame of reference is too much of a hassle for me
People make assumptions because the world is fucking filled with unknowns and leaps of logic and shit that requires immediate response
We have a highly evolved survival mechanism in our brains that is literally based around being able to jump to conclusions
Saying people need to stop assuming is like saying people need to stop being afraid of things they feel threatened by
You don't want people to make assumptions
You gotta fill in
The fucking blanks
Thursday, January 13, 2011
So I rented Face/Off
From an acting perspective the movie is kind of interesting
Since Travolta and Cage switch roles halfway through the film
So you get to see Cage trying to play Travolta while Travolta apes Cage's delivery
I wonder how much work they did together during shooting to come up with a cohesive set of characters so that when they swapped roles it would at least be believable in the context of the film
Actually I don't really wonder that at all
Because when the movie started and I saw Nick Cage with a mustache I instantly reached nirvana
I found the only question I am now capable of asking
Is why doesn't Cage have this mustache in EVERY scene
In EVERY movie
EVER
Although to be fair it didn't end up detracting from his performance
In fact after it's only after he loses the mustache that Cage graces the audience with what is unequivocally
The most fantastic hostage execution ever
Since Travolta and Cage switch roles halfway through the film
So you get to see Cage trying to play Travolta while Travolta apes Cage's delivery
I wonder how much work they did together during shooting to come up with a cohesive set of characters so that when they swapped roles it would at least be believable in the context of the film
Actually I don't really wonder that at all
Because when the movie started and I saw Nick Cage with a mustache I instantly reached nirvana
I found the only question I am now capable of asking
Is why doesn't Cage have this mustache in EVERY scene
In EVERY movie
EVER
Although to be fair it didn't end up detracting from his performance
In fact after it's only after he loses the mustache that Cage graces the audience with what is unequivocally
The most fantastic hostage execution ever
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Bottom of this Beyblade is its most valuable part
Holy SHIT
They're tops
TOPS
This is like someone writing a POG strategy guide
Complete with advice on POG technique
It's like that time I was at the drugstore and had my mind BLOWN by the existence of SPINZ
And that was before I saw the article on the subject
But guys
GUYS
The best part of course is the first response
We live in a world
Where the exchange rate
Of the US dollar
To the Bayblade
Is SEVENTEEN-POINT-FIVE TO ONE
BEYBLADES
They're tops
TOPS
This is like someone writing a POG strategy guide
Complete with advice on POG technique
It's like that time I was at the drugstore and had my mind BLOWN by the existence of SPINZ
And that was before I saw the article on the subject
But guys
GUYS
"That is all I need for about 35.00 Dollars maybe because im getting some from japan I dont want to spend all my money there."
The best part of course is the first response
"if u want all of them for $35 ur goin to have a hard time. Uriel and Gabriel alone cost that much"
We live in a world
Where the exchange rate
Of the US dollar
To the Bayblade
Is SEVENTEEN-POINT-FIVE TO ONE
BEYBLADES
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