I'd also like to bring it to the attention of those concerned
That I am not someone in the habit of backing down from a challenge
So I have decided
On reflection
Not to stop with just a single reply
Notching the dial
Of this internet exchange up a twist
Will be much more satisfying
Basically I am increasing my update speed to a degree unheard of on this blog in the hopes that the sheer volume of awesomeness drowns my opponent in a deluge of biblical postportions
I suppose you may be wondering how I plan to increase my blogging output by such a ridiculous degree while maintaining the high standard of content with which this blog has become synonymous
It has been brought to my attention that this masterful piece of scholarship has garnered a response
And
I'm going to level with you
I remain
Unconvinced
Now I have to admit that calling me out on being secretly infatuated with Library Science but lacking the nerve to ask her to the 8th grade dance is a pretty valid point
And honestly
It wouldn't be so bad
If I could just ask her in person
But I am a pretty loud guy
And Library Science gets spooked by anything above a low whisper
Which limits my options of communication severely
Because have you ever tried contacting Library Science
With anything of an order remotely more advanced than a 19th century telegraph
It is borderline fucking impossible
She doesn't understand how cell phones work
Or the internet
It's like she is trapped in the past
Which to be fair is part of why I am all up ons
Being perpetually stuck in the 20th century myself
It kind of makes me wish she'd take a page
From the book of Captain Lou
Because paying a buck fifty for the first minute
And thirty-five cents for every additional minute
For a chance to be RANDOMLY selected
To have a LIVE conversation with Library Science
Would probably save me like several thousand dollars
You don't really get a sense of scale from that picture so let me straight up bust out some fine-ass block quotes and get some mad perspective all up ins
"Four thousand feet beneath the surface of the Pacific Ocean, water temperatures hover around a chilly 37° Fahrenheit, and the tiny sparks of bioluminescent life forms provide the only light. In this dark, cold world, scientists have discovered a strange new predator - a gelatinous, blood-red jellyfish that can reach up to three meters in diameter. Named Tiburonia granrojo (Spanish for big red), this massive jelly is particularly unusual because it lacks tentacles, which most jellies use to catch their food. Instead, Big Red has between four and seven thick, wrinkled arms."
