The William

I'd also like to bring it to the attention of those concerned

That I am not someone in the habit of backing down from a challenge

So I have decided

On reflection

Not to stop with just a single reply

Notching the dial

Of this internet exchange up a twist

Will be much more satisfying

Basically I am increasing my update speed to a degree unheard of on this blog in the hopes that the sheer volume of awesomeness drowns my opponent in a deluge of biblical postportions

I suppose you may be wondering how I plan to increase my blogging output by such a ridiculous degree while maintaining the high standard of content with which this blog has become synonymous

To this I reply

Content

Have you been reading this blog at all

Everybody best check themselves because oh snap

Shit just got REAL

第81回仮装大賞準優勝作品【スーパーマリオ】

You may recall my in depth analysis of the relative merits of the scientific study of libraries and the man behind the second greatest live action rendition of Mario in history from a few days ago

It has been brought to my attention that this masterful piece of scholarship has garnered a response

And

I'm going to level with you

I remain

Unconvinced

Now I have to admit that calling me out on being secretly infatuated with Library Science but lacking the nerve to ask her to the 8th grade dance is a pretty valid point

And honestly

It wouldn't be so bad

If I could just ask her in person

But I am a pretty loud guy

And Library Science gets spooked by anything above a low whisper

Which limits my options of communication severely

Because have you ever tried contacting Library Science

With anything of an order remotely more advanced than a 19th century telegraph

It is borderline fucking impossible

She doesn't understand how cell phones work

Or the internet

It's like she is trapped in the past

Which to be fair is part of why I am all up ons

Being perpetually stuck in the 20th century myself

It kind of makes me wish she'd take a page

From the book of Captain Lou



Because paying a buck fifty for the first minute

And thirty-five cents for every additional minute

For a chance to be RANDOMLY selected

To have a LIVE conversation with Library Science

Would probably save me like several thousand dollars

In the money equivalent of the time I've spent

Trying to ask this flighty field of study out

How wrong I was

I thought the ocean had done its worse

I mean how the hell do you top eight foot long arthropoid spider alien abominations that EVEN NOW skitter through the darkness at the bottom of the sea

Thirsting for our flesh

But

You guys

Seriously

FUCK



THE OCEAN

You don't really get a sense of scale from that picture so let me straight up bust out some fine-ass block quotes and get some mad perspective all up ins

"Four thousand feet beneath the surface of the Pacific Ocean, water temperatures hover around a chilly 37° Fahrenheit, and the tiny sparks of bioluminescent life forms provide the only light. In this dark, cold world, scientists have discovered a strange new predator - a gelatinous, blood-red jellyfish that can reach up to three meters in diameter. Named Tiburonia granrojo (Spanish for big red), this massive jelly is particularly unusual because it lacks tentacles, which most jellies use to catch their food. Instead, Big Red has between four and seven thick, wrinkled arms."

You guys

That thing is OVER NINE FEET ACROSS

It is literally a giant mouth

Surrounded by ever-grasping arms

This is an entire SPECIES of creature

That is ALIVE

RIGHT NOW

ON THE SAME PLANET

AS US

Captain Lou Albano > Library Science

Yeah

I went there









Welp

If you complain about fonts you're a douchebag

My first mistake of course being browsing the site to begin with

So I'm browsing tvtropes.org because apparently I hate myself

And through some inscrutable and eldritch series of random links I stumble upon this page

Being the naive optimist I am I make the mistake of attempting to read said page

And this

Dear readers

Was my second mistake

->Examples

-->Anime&Manga

--->Third bullet down

"Happens all the time to Polly from Samurai Pizza Cats. They usually disguard her Tsundere personallity and portray her as a Purity Sue."

The question of why the person who added this to the wiki has apparently read so many Samurai Pizza Cats fanfics that PATTERNS have started to emerge was the first thing that popped into my head

However a much greater problem is raised by the tacit implication that there are ENOUGH of these dubious literary works to make such a generalization to BEGIN with

A question further posed by the fact that this person would not be complaining about this shortcoming in Samurai Pizza Cat fan fiction

Unless they believed deep down that it were possible for something that falls into the distinguished category of Samurai Pizza Cats Fanfic TO BE OBJECTIVELY GOOD

The question of whether or not there is

Somewhere out there

A place

Where Samurai Pizza Cats fan fiction is not only accepted

But UNIRONICALLY ANTICIPATED

nnrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhh

Not enough words

Okay

I don't know what this is

Or where it came from

But

BLAM



From the guitar overlay to the x-treme announcer's ridiculous narrative puns to the fucking BLAM CAM

Sombody call the BLAMBULANCE



It's just

It's just fucking beautiful

Watch out for that BLAMERANG



So take note people

Because this

This



Is ART